Here we are, in the year 2023 and a lot of things have changed for me.
My partner and anchorperson choose to end our relationship in early 2022. It was a huge sadness for me. We had been in a relationship for three years and I truly loved him and was soft with him in a way I had not dared to be in a long time.
When he wanted to end it, I was upset and sad but of course, I accepted it.
His feelings are valid and so are mine but that does not mean that our feelings in a breakup are the other parts to take care of.
Cause sometimes, love ends and feelings die and that has to be ok. I had to respect that he wanted to end it and then I had to go and handle my feelings of hurt and sadness with friends and family.
Our relationship lasted for three years with us living together for two years and handling a pandemic together. We started out as lovers with several comets and relationships around us but when the pandemic happened, we stayed with just us. Not because we decided to close it but because of safety and health. Simply put, you do not mess around in a pandemic. We both wanted to say healthy and be able to visit our families and hang out with close friends in bubbles.
Bringing in new lovers and partners was not an option in this and we both took that decision of free will and with happiness.
It worked very well with just being us and we were talking more and more about opening up for separate partners and play partners as well.
But life happened.
When it comes to breakups and separation in poly, those are just as painful and emotional as breakups in mono relationships, at least for me. It is the loss of a partner and a friend and in this case, in the aftermath, it was simply no option for me to keep him in my life anymore.
And that hurt.
It is hard to let go of a person who has become a huge part of my life and put down that boundary, but it was necessary and made the grief even deeper.
I’m very lucky to have a great family and amazing friends that have given me neverending emotional support to me over these past months and that has helped me a lot.
Since it ended, I have not had any desire to start a new relationship.
Kisses and more of course with beautiful people cause I really can’t resist that.
But right now, I am happy by myself without any partners. I wrote it before: my friends and family take up so much time and love in my life. They are my biggest support and primary partners in life so I am not really alone. And with that, I can take on the new year with a calm heart and a rest in myself.
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