Do I fall for one person or can I have feelings for many? Am I monogamous or polyamorous?
Well. I am neither. And I am both.
This took a while to figure out and it was a looong way that is still not done. But I started out as monogamous only wanting to be with one person and that person should only be with me. And it worked.
Then I fell in love with one person that was not mono and I felt it was ok. Then I fell in love with another person at the same time and then another one.
The realization there that I did not have to choose but that I could love these people, have them in my life and they could love me was…mindblowing.
Of course, it took a lot of communication, transparency and more communication. Sometimes I fucked up because I was a baby poly then and was not great at communicating all the time…
I was in a wonderful relationship for ten years where we were poly a bit on and off. But for five years or even more, we were mono and only had feelings and sex with each other.
And after that, I had relationships with multiple people again.
Who said this was gonna be easy?
But in short, I found the term ambiamorous lately and it kinda fits me like a glove. It points to people that can have both monogamous and polyamorous relationships and have no preferences in what is better or fits them the whole time.
They can have feelings towards only one partner or multiple partners at the same time.
Looking back at my life, it feels very clear that ambiamorous is the way I have lived my relationships in. I do not think poly is superior and I do not think mono is the only way to go.
It is just a question about feelings, respect and communication.
No comments:
Post a Comment